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Writer's pictureMatthew Helstrip

#22 Fears or Choices

Last week, I came across a question that really made me think: “Is the life you are living now a result of your choices or your fears?” After some initial thought, I realized that my current life has largely been influenced by my fears.


Fears come in various forms—financial, social, or professional. They can range from the small fear of losing $10 to the much larger anxiety of jeopardizing a family's income.


In my own experience, many of the decisions I made early in life came from a desire to avoid the fear of exclusion. Having faced bullying and being ostracised in school, I often found myself prioritizing how others perceived me in the decisions I made. Most choices I made were heavily influenced by the fear of being judged or rejected.


As humans, we tend to have a negative cognitive bias; it’s easy to dwell on negative experiences rather than positive ones. Studies suggest that we might recall negative events at a significantly higher ratio of positive to negative ones. This information makes it understandable that my initial reaction to the question was fear.


Cognitive bias is a systematic way our thinking can be flawed, leading us to make decisions or judgments that aren't based on rationality. It affects how we see things, remember information, and interpret experiences.


As I continued to reflect, I realized that while fear has played a role, the choices I made were ultimately my own. I have been fortunate to live a life free from coercion; my decisions have been guided by the information available to me and the environment I was in.


I know I’ve grown more confident that my choices are increasingly informed and that my environment reflects an abundance mindset rather than a scarcity one.


Taking Action

Here are some actionable steps to help you feel more agency in the choices you make:


  1. Educate Yourself: Dive into books, podcasts, and lectures. Implement what you learn to enrich your decision-making process.

  2. Surround Yourself with the Right People: Evaluate your social circle. Are the people you spend time with embodying the values you aspire to? Do they uplift you or hold you back?

  3. Reflect on Your Decisions: Dedicate time each day, week, and month to review your decisions. Are they aligned with your values and goals?


Final Thoughts

Reflecting back on the question, we all make choices—even if some are influenced by our fears. By placing ourselves in supportive environments and seeking knowledge, we can ensure that our decisions align with our true values and aspirations.


Take a moment to consider: Is your life a reflection of your choices, or are you letting fear dictate your path? The power lies in recognizing that you have the agency to shape your life.

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